Moments of Clarity

Club 24 is a place we go to socialize. They have various activities. Darts, crib tournaments, dinners, dances. it's down on Dundas now, but it used to be on Canal street.

Because the club is operated by AA managers, a lot of AA meetings are held there. When I finally got back from Wyoming - 17 years ago - I went to a meeting there. My first one in almost a month. It was at six o'clock. It was called Free to be Me.

They did a special reading from the big book every week. In the third edition it's on pages 560-61. I can't remember the whole reading but some parts definitely stayed with me.

"We learn to differentiate between our wants (which are never satisfied) and our needs (which are always provided for)." And....."we cast off the burdens of the past and the anxieties of the future as we begin to live in the present one day at a time."

A friend of mine used to say the past is like a rear view mirror. When you're driving you need to look in the mirror sometimes but you should also keep your eyes on the road ahead.

When I was at that meeting I should have picked up a desire chip, the 24 hour ones that the newcomers take. I had relapsed so I was a newcomer again. But I reasoned that none of you knew I relapsed and that none of you needed to know, so I lied and took a three month chip. Well, I didn't lie. I just didn't tell the truth. I didn't tealize then that an act of omission is the same as an act of commission.

I did eventually fess up, but until I did I couldn't tell my story the way it happened. My sponsor knew the truth and Nancy knew the truth, but nobody else did. When I finally came clean, I learned a valuable lesson. Nobody cared if I'd be been sober a day or a month. They were glad to see me either way.

The speaker at my 17 year anniversary put it well. When I'm at the podium telling you about my moment of clarity what are you thinking about as you sit in your chair listening - your moment of clarity of course. My story is interesting and often entertaining, but it's because I tell a story well.